The idea of a happy and meaningful life has become unnecessarily complicated in some circles. Happiness has been appropriately cited as a goal in political debates on issues from taxation to the social safety net to marriage equality, but the debate is often confused.

As many of you may know, I am intrigued with the subject of human longevity. I find it interesting to study why some people live long and active lives, while others depart this life earlier than planned. Certainly, in my own family, I watched my wife’s amazing grandmother who lived to age 104. My father, who died in June at the age of 89, drew Social Security retirement benefits for over a quarter of a century! What a life he experienced! From his youth during the Great Depression, to serving in World War II, and then following the American Dream through a 40-year career, Dad truly embodied what those of the “Greatest Generation” were about.

While there are several things to consider when asking yourself how you are doing, it’s prudent to focus on your attitudes and behaviors. These are the biggest differentiators between great leaders and failing leaders because they demonstrate the four core emotional intelligence metrics: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Social Awareness, and Relationship Management.